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Will Never Move On

Here is my Facebook post

My mother, Shirley Capes, sent me this photo. It is from Christmas 2014. It features two of my three sons: Bryan Capes is on the left. Daniel Capes, our son who died Aug 2nd, is on the right. It was taken in the family room of Donna Batts, Cathy Hall Capes’s sister, and Steve Batts, her husband, in Newnan GA. The sofa is now gone. I know. I helped move it onto a trailer for transport when someone bought it. The house was sold recently. I know. We helped them move out. So our family members’ no longer own it. Of all those things, only Bryan, our eldest, remains. We move on from things, I suppose, but not people. My son is no longer here, but there is no moving on. He leaves a chasm deep within my chest.
Daniel Christmas 2014
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Ashes

Here is my Facebook post of August 24, 2019.

Three weeks ago my son, Daniel Capes, died. He was 36 years old. His wife, Jenel Capes, asked us to pick up his ashes. We did so last week. These ashes are all that remain here of the life Cathy and I created in 1983. I realize we are more than ashes, but every experience we ever had of Daniel was in this body. Every sight of him. Every sound of him. Every wisecrack. Every smile. If the Christian doctrine of incarnation tells us anything, it tells us that bodies matter, that the material carries sacredness within every particle of dust and ash. Below is a picture of me at 27 holding my son for the first time. He was only minutes old. Son, you have left a Daniel-sized hole in our hearts, which nothing in this world can satisfy.Daniel birth