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An Amazing Father

Here is my Facebook post of October 11, 2019.

Ten weeks ago today our adult son, Daniel Capes, died of a rare form of cancer. He was 36 years old. Here is one of my favorite pictures of Daniel and his son, Tobias Alexander Capes. The occasion was the wedding of our oldest son, Bryan Capes to Carolina Valera Capes. Daniel’s mom and I are incredibly proud of how wonderful a father he always was to Toby. Toby turned 5 years last Sunday.

Son, we miss you. I hope you know that. You turned out to be an amazing young man and father. We loved seeing you with Toby and will treasure the pictures and memories we have. We could not be more pleased with the person you are and will always be.Daniel and Toby 3

 

Capes Garden

Here is my Facebook of October 4, 2019.

One of the most thoughtful gifts Daniel Capes and Jenel Capes ever gave us was this bronze plaque for the garden. It reads “Capes Garden EST. 1977.” That is the year Cathy and I married. The bronze has weathered, but it still decorates our garden.

Nine weeks ago today our son, Daniel, died of a rare form of cancer. He was 36 years old. Our garden still exists but there is a hole in the middle of it where once a great, strong tree stood.

Son, we miss you. You and your brothers are and always will be the stars of our garden. Thank you and Jenel for the gift many years ago. Daniel, we hope you are enjoying exotic gardens under a swift sunrise.

Capes Garden

Cracked Pot

Here is my Facebook post of October 2, 2019, two months to the day after my son died.

What can you do with a cracked pot? Well, here is a good example. My sister-in-law, Laurie, made this for us. The big pot is important because we bought two of them to decorate the chapel where Daniel and Jenel married 13 years ago. The concrete pots held two great ferns. We kept the one pot. When it cracked, we were ready to discard it until Laurie had an idea how to fix it.

Our son, Daniel Capes, died two months ago today, leaving a son, a widow, and a grieving family. His death has cracked our lives wide open. I suppose we are all cracked pots in one way or another. Some more serious than others. We all need someone like Laurie to fix us.

Son, we miss your kindness, your jokes, your smile and all your ways. You and your brothers are and always will be our treasure.

Cracked pot

Daniel and His Mom

Here is my Facebook post of September 27, 2019, about eight weeks after my son died.

I love this picture of my wife, Cathy, and my middle son, Daniel Capes. Eight weeks ago today Daniel died. He was 36 years old. Daniel had this amazing smile that lit up a room and made me smile any time I saw it. On the day this picture was taken we learned that my daughter-in-law, Carolina Valera Capes, was going to have a baby. The child was born in June 2017. CupCake, as I like to call her, is now 2 years and 3 months old. She is great gift to our family. Son, I miss your smile and your presence in our lives. No room will ever be as bright again.Cathy and Daniel

We Long for a Better World

Here is my Facebook post of September 21, 2019.

Many people have thanked me for reflecting so deeply and honestly on the life and death of my son, Daniel Capes, seven weeks ago. To be honest there are moments it still feels like a bad dream from which we will wake up one day. I know it is not, but grief does strange things to your body and mind. I hope no one who reads this will ever have to face this kind of grief, but I know from comments that some of you already have. I have heard from parents who lost children through accident, disease and murder. None of this is the way it should be. We long for a better world. Daniel (on the right) is pictured here with his friend Jesse Zigthor, a computer game designer, months before his sickness and diagnosis. Son, we miss you. And we always will.

Jess Zigthor

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