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We Long for a Better World

Here is my Facebook post of September 21, 2019.

Many people have thanked me for reflecting so deeply and honestly on the life and death of my son, Daniel Capes, seven weeks ago. To be honest there are moments it still feels like a bad dream from which we will wake up one day. I know it is not, but grief does strange things to your body and mind. I hope no one who reads this will ever have to face this kind of grief, but I know from comments that some of you already have. I have heard from parents who lost children through accident, disease and murder. None of this is the way it should be. We long for a better world. Daniel (on the right) is pictured here with his friend Jesse Zigthor, a computer game designer, months before his sickness and diagnosis. Son, we miss you. And we always will.

Jess Zigthor

Mousing Around

Here is my Facebook post of September 21, 2019, about seven weeks after my son died.

Three years ago we were preparing for our Disney Adventure. A dear friend told me it would be the best money I ever spent. He was right. Little did we know that our middle son, Daniel Capes, would pass from this world to the next in the middle of His 36th year. He’s pictured here with his sister-in-law, Carolina Valera Capes, mousing around and his brothers enjoying the sights and sound at Disney World. Daniel Capes, we miss you son. No family gathering will ever be the same without you.

Mousing Around

A Stump on the Oak

Here is my Facebook post of September 14, 2019, six weeks after my son died.

Six weeks ago our son, Daniel Capes, died. He was 36 years old (pictured here in the middle with younger brother Jordan Capes [on the left] and older brother Bryan Capes [on the right]). One year ago Daniel and Jordan cut two limbs from a tree in our front yard to make room for a bounce house for Daniel’s son birthday. Tobias Alexander Capes was about to turn four. They left a stump on the oak which Cathy and I had planned to take off; but we’ve decided to leave it as a reminder. What a difference a year makes. Daniel is no longer with us. Toby turns five soon. There is a hole in our world. By day we stumble around it. By night we fall in it headlong.

Three sons


Big Watch

Here is my Facebook post of September 7,  2019 about five weeks after my son died.

One of my favorite periods in Daniel Capes’s short 36 years with us was when he was 12-13 years old. He was always fun to be around, upbeat and easy-going. He had this habit of wearing a big watch on his arm, often an adult-sized watch on his young wrist. This picture was taken in Gulf Shores, AL, in 1996 near the time we went to the Atlanta Olympics. Son, you have so many endearing qualities that we miss. I’m going to get the biggest watch I can find and wear it everyday until your birthday on Feb 28th. We miss knowing that you are in the world.Big watch

Beach Daniel and Jordan

Here is my Facebook post of September 1, 2019, one month after my son died.

One month ago, my middle son, Daniel Capes, died. He was 36 years old. This picture was taken on our annual beach vacation in 2004 in Gulf Shores, AL. Daniel is on the left. Jordan Capes, his younger brother, is on the right. Because we missed the beach trip this year, we took him and the family to a beach house on Galveston Island two weeks before he died. He loved the beach, the breeze, the sound of the waves, and a good book in the shade of a big umbrella. Son, no beach vacation will ever be the same without you, your smile, or your antics. We miss you and hope you are enjoying white shores and beyond, a vast green country under a swift sunrise. Beach Daniel and Jordan